Crazy Saturday Night

So, I found myself near midnight last night on the side of a highway, brandishing a 357 magnum. Seriously. A girlfriend of mine was traveling from San Antonio to Tulsa and strangely enough, her car broke down about 20 miles North of my house. So, A called and of course, I sped up the highway to save my little Damsel in Distress. When I got out to help her unload her car, she handed me a gun and some bullets. (For the record, it was not loaded and I was handed the bullets seperately which I stored ala Barney Fife in my car console). I couldn't help it, tho....I struck a bad ass Charlie's Angels pose by the side of the highway (when no cars were in sight). If I'd known, I would've worn high heels. We returned to my house where I medicated A with Red Velvet Cake and tequila and sent her to bed after she called her soon to be Ex husband and her 21 year old son to come get her and tow her car back to Tulsa. Now, I am rather proud of the fact that I coerced my Ex husband into having a vasectomy after our divorce (and if you know what a big freakin' baby he is, you'd really appreciate that). But A was on her way back from San Antonio from visiting her boyfriend and her sweet Exhusband STILL came to get her. I don't know whether to give him a medal or a trip to the psychiatrist. Anyhoo, they arrived around 4:00 AM and then they all left together around 10:30 this morning. I went back to making soup in a crockpot, being a PTA Mom and living my quiet (albiet fabulous) life of suburbia. Now that I've been exposed for the bad ass I truly am, I'm a little afraid that Dale is going to want me to go shopping with her in her unsavory neighborhoods. Can I wear high heels?

Great Pics - My Mom

I want you to know that I am taking my life into my own hands by posting this pic. My Mom will most likely ground me for this, or worse. But, always the rebel, I am willing to throw caution to the wind and take my chances for you, my loyal blog followers. This is from her Senior Prom. She talked her parents into letting her and a girlfriend go to the big city of Sherman, TX to shop for dresses, so that they wouldn't have the same dresses as everyone else. I love the picture and I wish she still had the dress!

Happy New Year!!!

We said goodbye to 2008 and rang in 2009 surrounded by good friends. The party was lots of fun with food, wine and kids everywhere! At midnight we all drank champagne (the kids were allowed to have a half full tiny cordial glass, although most of them proclaimed it 'icky')and set off poppers in the front yard. The Divine Miss M 'Bubba' steals a drink of his sister's Coke The 'Desperate Housewives' of Brookside A crazy game of Pictionary--I think there was some cheating going on - you know who you are!!!! :) J and the twins came over and we had a blast with them. Look at that flirty smile! Mr. Wonderful is wrapped around someone's finger. After midnight everyone went home with a Party Favor bag containing a can of black eyed peas (it's a Southern thing...you eat them on New Years Day for good luck), a bottle of Tylenol and some candy. The girls all crashed in my living room at some point and are still there. Today will be spent cleaning up, taking down Christmas decorations and hanging out with the kids. I wish you all a prosperous, happy 2009 surrounded by good friends and family. And some travel. Salud!

Retro Shopping Night

Mr. Wonderful and I went out shopping a couple of weeks ago. It was really fun and I tried clothes on for him, as he sat in a plush chair and assumed the 'Sugar Daddy' role. It was like a trip back to the 60s and reminded me of when I was a child and my Dad would take my Mom out shopping. Back then, all women's boutiques had comfy chairs where the men would relax, while the ladies paraded around for them in the latest fashions. I worked in an upscale ladies clothing store back in the 80s in Tulsa called Aberson's, and we threw a 'special party' for husbands a few days prior to Christmas each year. We served champagne and snacks and because I was 17 years old at the time, I 'got' to model a few things, especially the fur coats. It was a brilliant marketing move and I'm certain that we helped make a lot of women happy on Christmas morning! Nowadays men rarely accompany women on shopping trips. We have our own money, don't need anyone to drive us, are generally more independent than women were in the 60s. I remember my mother used to sign her name as 'Mrs. Husband's First Name and Last Name'. I have never done that! However, I love it when a man opens a door for me and our 'Sugar Daddy Shopping Trip' was loads of fun.

Merry Christmas, My Deer

Each year, my boss and I decorate another boss's deer head for the holidays. There have been many themes, this year was an Island Christmas. Seriously, you cannot have something like that in your office and expect me not to mess with it. I try, but resistance is futile. It does creep me out to touch it, though. Around the house, I have put up three trees. The big one in the living room with all of the assorted ornaments and pics of the kids in little frame ornaments. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care. A friend's significant other made the gorgeous wreath for me. This is my little Texas tree in the foyer, complete with red pepper lights and Texas/cowboy themed ornaments. In the niche, we have the Isla tree, with shells and a starfish at the top. Yesterday we opened gifts and watched 'Elf' and 'The Office' with my parents and my niece. Today we are having our big Christmas feast. The Roast Beast is in the oven, the table is beautifully set, and the relatives are on their way. I hope y'all are having a lovely Christmas weekend!

Bitchmas!

Bitchmas was a fabulous affair, as always. I went to Tulsa to visit my parents and also to celebrate with my girlfriends. We found this lovely sign on the way in a truck stop in Atoka, OK. I love me a festive potty! We went out to breakfast Saturday morning with my parents at BBD. They have cinnamon rolls to die for! My Mom and C There was a Christmas run going on right outside the restaurant and there were dogs all dressed up in Christmas costumes! For me? How sweet! After breakfast we went over to Mr. Wonderful's brother's house for a visit. As we rounded the corner, an evil snowman tried to attack us! Ahhhh!!!!! C and cousin Bitchmas dinner was at the Celebrity Club. It used to be a private supper club back in the 60s and the decor is vintage. Big plush red booths, lush red walls and gold accents. The food is fabulous. Me and Scott Sharon and Laura Angela Laurie and Toni Laurie made wine with a Bitchmas label that is so cool! I made glasses! We returned to Toni's casa for more Bitchmas fun and I acquired the 'Tower O Booze' in the Dirty Santa Game. More friends showed up and there was much wine drinking and festiveness! Even Toni's dad enjoyed the party. (That's him...well, part of his ashes in the little silver urn in the kitchen window) Weird! Happy Bitchmas to everyone!

Where do you find your Christmas Spirit?

If there's one thing that has always gotten me in the Christmas spirit, it's my children's Christmas plays. When my oldest (now 17) was little and in Montessori, he was absolutely the cutest Christmas tree you've ever seen! (Sorry, I had to scan these from a scrapbook!) Last year, my daughter was still in After School Care at Montessori, and she had the lead in the play, as Martina the Moose. Her singing was fantastic! The play was a hit. In previous years, she was Audrey Hepburn (the Ghost of Christmas Past) and one year she was a little girl baking cookies with her Grandma. C had worked her way up in the ranks, so to speak, and has a beautiful singing voice. She's not afraid to get up in front of people to sing because she's been doing it since she was four years old. This year was C's first year out of Montessori and we were left with no Christmas play. How would I get into the spirit without cardboard gingerbread house sets, flubbed lines, toy soldiers and crying two year olds? We called the school and found out when their play was and went anyway! As we approached the door, a couple of ladies said to C, "Oh, you were the Moose last year! You were wonderful". (beam!) When we walked in, all of the teachers (including Ms. Alvarez, who had been J's teacher 15 years ago, gave C big hugs. The younger kids were delighted to see her and several parents commented that they missed her singing. Oh, behold! There were crying two year olds onstage, one who pulls her dress up, one who dances like a maniac, one who waves non stop to his parents. We had off key singing, darling red velvet dresses and tiny bow ties. And then, at the end of the show, the older kids got up to sing. I saw a beautiful angel with glittery white wings and... be still my heart....there was my son's Christmas Tree costume -- on a little boy, singing his heart out. (we had donated the costume to the school, as it was too cute not to use every year). It started at my toes and it worked it's way up my spine and exploded above my head as the kids onstage sang Adeste Fidelis. It was beautiful! Christmas spirit was here.